Friday, August 19, 2005

It's a Stand-Off

How I love this ad! This picture is speaking its thousand words, and I've had such fun speculating on what mom's might be: "Oh, you little sh*t." or, "This. Means. War." or, "I love my baby. I love my baby. I love my baby. I will not kill this child." or...? (Click on the image to enlarge.)


Blogger kimmyk said...

"If you don't open up and eat this I'm going to rip your lungs out."


"I do love you, but when your dad gets home I'm kicking him in the crotch.
Can you say crotch?"

8/19/2005 01:58:00 p.m.  
Blogger Susan said...


Or maybe that's just me . . .

8/19/2005 02:16:00 p.m.  
Blogger Candace said...

"Son of a b****...oh, wait, that's me..."

"I did NOT go through 26 hours of labor and an emergency c-section to take THIS crap, young man."

8/19/2005 02:19:00 p.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Kimmyk: after this, daddy isn't ever coming near me with a ten-foot pole, much less anything shorter...

Susan: see the OJ in the sippy cup? That's really a vodka and orange, cleverly disguised - and it's for her, not him.

Misfit: Yup, you can't call your own kids that, can you? "Son of a b**** - and it's YOUR fault, kid!"

That second one will last you your entire life. The everlasting and all-application "You owe me".

8/19/2005 04:23:00 p.m.  
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

Ha, cute!

How about:

"Kid, that ain't the only orifice I can shove this spoon in. Now sit down, shut up, and eat!"

8/19/2005 04:25:00 p.m.  
Blogger Haley said...

I have a feeling this particular woman is saying: "It's a darn good thing I'm getting paid to do this."

An actual mother would more likely say: "That's it, from now on you're bathing yourself, you rotten filthy little..."

8/19/2005 04:57:00 p.m.  
Blogger Homestead said...

Where's the benadryl? It's nap time.

At our house it would be... where's the dog... the dog will clean this up.

8/19/2005 06:42:00 p.m.  
Blogger Susan said...

Okay, but honestly, people, who wears a WHITE SHIRT to feed a baby? And I swear those jeans are so tight she can hardly move.

God I love advertising . . .

Now where's MY vodka sippy cup?

8/19/2005 07:50:00 p.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Crayonz: oooowooo...threatening his orifices, yet. Remind me never to spray my beer out my nose in YOUR direction.

Haley: if she's paid, she's thinking "I don't get paid nearly enough to take this crap, you little cretin."

Homestead: Benadryl puts them to sleep? I didn't know that! File that infobit away for future reference!

I can't imagine Ms. White Shirt in her White Kitchen would allow a hairy animal in her house. (Makes ya wanna speculate about the male progenitor a bit.)

Susan: Do you remember the ad that showed a new mother with perfectly coiffed hair into which was woven a sweet blue ribbon, holding her NAKED newborn against her PURE WHITE cotton nightie? Who comes up with this stuff? I have no idea what product was being advertised: I could never get past the ludicracy (is that a word?) of the setup.

To everyone:
Well, ladies. Doesn't it feel gooood to let off some of the frustrations of motherhood in a safe and supportive environment?!?

8/19/2005 09:54:00 p.m.  
Blogger Heather said...

(arriving late on the usual). Actually I paid baby in yellow to carrot/squash her. Her thighs are just too damn skinny. I'm with Susan on this one ;)

8/20/2005 07:31:00 a.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

I was envious of the length of those legs. But I have better breasts... :-)

8/20/2005 10:22:00 a.m.  
Blogger LoryKC said...

Thanks, Mary! I love the ad.
And of course, it is a marketing tool.
NO WAY that bright white kitchen would still be that clean!
That is a paid model wearing the skin-tight jeans and stained shirt---real mothers do wear her expression but they can't wear those jeans.
(Susan--of course she can't move. See the way she's "sitting?" Someone helped position her there and she'll need help up!!!)

8/20/2005 03:04:00 p.m.  
Blogger Juggling Mother said...

I have occasionally been so behind on th washing that I've worn white to feed the baby. The real thought that goes through your head is:

Thank god for washing machines. I'm so glad I live in the 21st century.

I have also been known to feed naked babies in just my underwear (not an image to think about too long..). In these cases you think: I love central heating & hot water on demand. You are so going to be dunked in a minute!

8/21/2005 03:16:00 p.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Washing machines and dryers and bleach and permanent press! Great, isn't it??

I wouldn't have dared to feed my babies when naked: they all tended to lose it out the bottom end as they received it in the top. Now there's an image not to dwell upon!! (I rather suspect that Mr. Aginoth might disagree with your evaluation of the merits of your occasional feeding attire...) :-)

8/21/2005 04:20:00 p.m.  
Blogger Simon Peter said...

Bringing the dad's perspective here, if they didn't want to eat, I let them get hungry. I never fought with the princesses over food.

At any given point there's something they will willingly eat, so they get that. Princess number two is still into cottage cheese big time, so she eats a ton of that stuff. No fights. :-)

8/21/2005 09:15:00 p.m.  
Blogger Anon said...

Mary P said: "I was envious of the length of those legs. But I have better breasts... :-)"

I presume your talking about mom and not baby :-p

8/22/2005 08:59:00 a.m.  
Blogger Anon said...

Hey, just thought. You only have 9 days of your holiday left.

8/22/2005 09:00:00 a.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Si: Clever fellow. Got it in one!

Thanks for the timely reminder. Me, I'm trying not to think about it. Savour every moment, that's my motto!

8/22/2005 11:32:00 a.m.  
Blogger Homestead said...

Wait. Let me qualify my comment. Benadryl knocks out SOME kids... others just get hyper when they take it.... Dimenapp (I mean Dimetapp) seems to do the trick for most..... not that I would ever drug my, not me... unless I was taking him on a commercial flight or something.... um, no, I mean.... um.

And might I add.... what mom wears a shirt that needs to be pressed?

And is that shabby-chic table a lead-based paint concern? hee-hee.

8/22/2005 12:37:00 p.m.  
Blogger snaars said...

Baby was following Mommy's example ...

The kitchen decor is white with splashes of orange.

8/25/2005 11:06:00 a.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Homestead: There's a story in my ex-husband's family about how they put a shot of brandy in baby's bottle (this particular baby being my ex's father) to deal with his sleepless crankiness, and the poor little tyke slept for 15 hours straight. They were afraid they'd killed, or at least comatose'd him.

As a new mother, listening to that story, it had a certain illicit appeal, I must admit. "15 hours, you say?? And, look, he's just fine now, isn't he???" Course, he's also only five foot four...

Snaars: Hey, you're right! And look at that table: mommy clearly goes for the "distressed" look. Now mommy's distressed, too!!

8/25/2005 12:15:00 p.m.  

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