Monday, September 05, 2005

Duct Tape, Use # 253

The phone rings. "I thought I'd give you the heads up on a new behaviour Darcy's developed over the last couple of weeks," his mother tells me, "and I didn't want him overhearing the conversation. He's been having his bowel movement during afternoon nap, and then he's trying to take care of matters himself. He's making the most disgusting messes everywhere, and his dad is ready to slaughter him. We just thought you'd better be forewarned." My words of wisdom are two. "Duct tape," I pronounce. "Really?!" The relief in her voice is palpable. "I dreamt about that only last night, and woke up thinking, 'I can't really do that, can I?'" One of my nicer roles: giving parents permission to do what they want to do. In this case, what they've dreamed of doing!

13 Comments:

Blogger craziequeen said...

So I'll be the first to ask.....duct tape?? (or as we English call it 'Duck Tape'!)

Darcy has a long way to go before he is on a par with a child way back in my past - who did it, smeared it and ate it :-S

Ah - sweet memories [shudders]

CQ

9/05/2005 04:50:00 PM  
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...

CQ, duct tape is the correct term for it. It was originally used in the HVAC industry, and still is. "Duck" came from good old miscommunication. You can now find tape in the stores marked "Duck tape," which I believe is the manufacturer's name.

Mary, you're talking about using it on diaper tabs, right? Makes an awful mess if it touches baby's skin, but I'd say feces paint is MUCH worse a predicament.

9/05/2005 06:20:00 PM  
Blogger Kat O+ said...

Ah, but think of the lost memories and material for his 21st birthday! My best story about my younger brother involves poo... :-D

9/05/2005 08:49:00 PM  
Blogger McSwain said...

Well, I'd heard duct tape was good for everything... You think McGuyver ever tried this one??

9/05/2005 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger Aginoth said...

Also known as Gaffer Tape, but more usually as Duck Tape, as you say Ieatcrayonz because it is sold under that brand name in the UK.

9/06/2005 05:21:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

CQ: "Ate it". That tops my worst story, ever. Oh! NO, no, it doesn't! I once cared for a child who got into the cat litter. And carried it around in their mouth for a couple of minutes before I realized. Now I'm the one shuddering through a flash-back. Bleah...

Crayonz: "HVAC"? Yes, on the tabs. This child is three, so the diaper's big. For a smaller child, you might need to tear it width-wise, to make it narrower. On the tabs at first, and if he manages to tear that off, right round the waist of the diaper as a belt.

Kat: Too bad I can't remember any of this stuff about my brother! He did once swallow chlorine bleach and lived to tell the tale. Shoved raisins up his nose. Just normal stuff.

Cheryl: McGuyver? I'm torn. Half of me says "The man obviously had no children, the way he risked his life weekly, and was off gallivanting all the time", yet the other half says "But where do you think he learned to be so ingenious, if not on his kids??"

Aginoth: Duct tape and gaffer tape, though both cloth-based tapes, are different animals. Gaffer tape is used primarily for taping down electrical wires (like on a theatre set); duct is used, unsurprisingly, for ducts. The other thing? Duct tape is much, much stickier. Whereas gaffer tape lifts up readily at the end of the day and leaves no residue, duct tape NEVER comes off. When it's stuck, it's stuck! Hence its usefulness in this situation. His parents will have to cut him out of his diapers...

9/06/2005 07:15:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Crayonz!!! I was in compete agreement with you on the "duck" vs "duct" tape thing. But look what I found on the Duct Tape site!

Oh, and it further seems that the duct-and-diaper idea was not original to me. Too bad! (And don't ask me why those lunatic people are attempting to diaper their babies with their eye duct-taped shut. It's all very silly.)

9/06/2005 07:25:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

aginoth: Here's the distinction - and from a countryman of yours! And now I really should get on with my day.

9/06/2005 07:36:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Ooh. This one's the best yet. And NOW I'm shutting this thing right off, so I stay away...

9/06/2005 07:42:00 AM  
Blogger Anon said...

Won't it hurt the little tykes bum when you pull the tape off?

Also, can I now ask permission to beat my kids with a piece of 2x4 with 6" nails in it :-)

Just kidding (both accounts).

9/06/2005 08:40:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

No, no, that wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare. You don't really want to do that. Really, you don't.

9/06/2005 08:51:00 AM  
Blogger Anon said...

:-)

9/06/2005 09:19:00 AM  
Anonymous lostinxlation said...

Our twins did this trick for a while.... they would even "fingerpaint" with their, um, products.

We tried the duct tape. First, just on the tabs. Then later as a belt. It worked for a month or so, and then they both figured out they could claw their diapers off *around* the duct tape.

Thankfully, they moved past that stage about 9 months ago, and are now potty-training. (Which is an adventure in and of itself.)

10/08/2006 08:23:00 AM  

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