Tuesday, October 25, 2005

The Things You Hear Yourself Saying, Part 3

Stop licking your nose, please. It doesn't matter if it's your hammer, it's his tummy. Well, you're not supposed to like the taste. Now what's the cat going to eat? Three is more than two. Yes, it is. She wasn't sharing that with you, you're just stronger than she is. Who wiped their nose on the couch?

22 Comments:

Blogger craziequeen said...

Why do those all sound eerily familiar......?

[gets out brolly and carpet bag]

cq

10/25/2005 04:47:00 PM  
Blogger CyberKitten said...

Mary P said:

She wasn't sharing that with you, you're just stronger than she is.

You should get that printed on a T-shirt.

Oh.. and this one:

Well, you're not supposed to like the taste. Now what's the cat going to eat?

10/25/2005 05:40:00 PM  
Blogger McSwain said...

Licking the nose? That is one long tongue--a young Gene Simmons? Or maybe kids are proportioned differently...

10/25/2005 06:30:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

CQ: I have an ongoing draft file entitled "The things you hear yourself saying", and pop one in whenever I come out with a good one. When I heard myself asking who'd wiped their nose on the couch, I knew I had enough to publish another edition!

CK: There! T-shirts that are perfectly mine, with no worry of copyright violations. There was an old one I particularly liked. I'll have to hunt it up.

Cheryl: No, they're not proportioned differently, at least not in the mouth-to-nose area. No, this boy just has a disturbingly long tongue. Rather revolting, truth be known. I swear some days he picks his nose with it... And we all say together: EeeEeEEeeewwwWWwWWwww!

10/25/2005 09:39:00 PM  
Blogger The June Cleaver Diaries said...

How 'bout this:

"Please don't play with your penis at the dinner table."

And no, it wasn't my husband that I was talking to.

10/25/2005 09:51:00 PM  
Blogger Juggling Mother said...

Get your hands out of your pants

I don't care if she likes it, you're not to do it

Put him/her/it down

What have I told you about playing with (wires/lights/fire/televisions/sharp knives.....)

10/26/2005 04:51:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

SNMartha: In the world of small boys, there is no time or place in this world that is not a good one for playing with your penis. Thus it ever was, thus it is, thus it will be, world without end. Amen.

MrsA: Ah, motherspeak.

10/26/2005 09:01:00 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

My 20 month old daughter has taken up the phrase "Get down RIGHT now!" because she's heard it a billion times it seems from me. She's decided that every stationary object in the house is fair game to climb on. Hence the reason there is no pretty decorations on any table within her reach.

10/26/2005 09:56:00 AM  
Blogger LoryKC said...

Who got hammered in the tummy? Yikes!
I do like the t-shirt idea!

SNMartha and Mary, I'm so glad to know my son is "normal!" ; )
I finally quit telling him to stop--just told him to wash his hands. He washes his hands a lot.

10/26/2005 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Jill: Does she say it to herself when she's climbing something? I've seen kids scold themselves for the very activity they're indulging in - they know what comes next, but the drive to do it is too strong!!

Lory: It was a small, light plastic hammer. It was little Zach, and he objected, but through his denim overall bib and sweatshirt, I doubt it hurt.

Looking back in my archives, I found the first edition of this theme on June 27/05, (the things you hear yourself saying), and, as I'd thought, the third one on the list was, "If you need to touch that, go to the bathroom." It's more than normal, it's universal; he'd be abnormal if he didn't!

LOL

10/26/2005 01:16:00 PM  
Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

In the world of small boys, there is no time or place in this world that is not a good one for playing with your penis. Thus it ever was, thus it is, thus it will be, world without end. Amen.

I just want to second that Amen.

Hallelujah!, even.
Q

10/26/2005 03:36:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Q: YOU are not a small boy. (Which is a good thing, of course.) But let me reiterate: NOT.

10/26/2005 03:53:00 PM  
Blogger CyberKitten said...

A boy and his penis are never parted.... and men never do really grow up.....

10/26/2005 04:36:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

CK: I'd noticed that...

10/27/2005 07:20:00 AM  
Blogger craziequeen said...

congrats to ck and q for effectively killing the conversation by discussing their penises.

men!

:-)

10/27/2005 07:40:00 AM  
Blogger Aginoth said...

Line from new TV Series on BBC...called Blessed.

"Of course he can't help, he's two. He has one hand permanently attached to his nose and the other to his penis"

So true, we have considered recording the line "Get your hand out of your pants" and just playing it back on a continuous loop to Agi Junior.

10/27/2005 08:37:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

CQ: Oh, there's a time and a place for everything... LOL

Aginoth: Love that quote. For one of my daycare tots, the line would have to be modified to "His tongue up his nose and his hands in his pants". Heavy sigh.

10/27/2005 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger The June Cleaver Diaries said...

And today we followed up the "hands off the penis at mealtime" with:

"Put it back in it's little pocket and leave it alone."

Tighty Whities are a baaad idea for 3 years old boys

10/27/2005 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Boxers have to be worse: they can get at it from top AND bottom! Boys and their toys - the fascination never goes away.

10/27/2005 02:13:00 PM  
Blogger CyberKitten said...

Well... it IS a gift that keeps on giving.............

10/27/2005 04:33:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Oh, enough already! She rolls her eyes. It's really not as interesting as you think it is.

10/27/2005 04:44:00 PM  
Blogger Haley said...

Now which cousin of mine was it that was told by his exasperated mother: "If you don't stop playing with that thing it's going to fall off"?

(And, of course, the result was his holding onto it more so that he wouldn't lose it)

10/27/2005 08:17:00 PM  

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