Saturday, November 19, 2005

Undercover Operator

So you know that little near-miss I had with Mia and the hummer? Some of you made helpful suggestions: I was warned to put the object in question on a higher shelf; someone else mentioned something about a sock. Good ideas, and thank you for your input. People may wonder why I carry a single sweatsock in my purse, but no more than they might wonder why I need that other thing in there. (If I were a guy, the purse would be more of a mystery than the sock, but that tangent is for someone else's blog.) Well. Since then I've come across not one, not even two, but THREE other possibilities. Q and I, staid old mostly-married couple that we are, have a weekly date night; this week's included a trip to Venus Envy, wherein we discovered a "Vibe Cosy" which looked like something your grandma would make -- if she's partial to crocheted cucumber covers. It would prevent scratches on metallic surfaces, but it doesn't really hide the contents, so, not quite the thing for we privacy-impaired mommies. The second is a little throw cushion with a zipper down one side, which opens to reveal a cottony-soft hideaway for your several of your buzzing buddies. These cushions come in three tasteful patterns: Zebra, Tiger, and Cheetah. Yes, indeed. Good idea, bad, bad, bad execution. But maybe I can sew my own? And then I found it. Not on a shelf, but in a magazine on a shelf. Far and away my favourite, this form of camouflage would work really, really well in Mary's world. Brought to you by the designers at

Feast your eyes on these little gems:
It's the cozy family!! Little blue Misho, who fits over a mini-hummer, and big red Tricky, who can handle up to eight inches. No info on the pink terry number: maybe it's for your water-friendly friends? So, all nervous mommies, there we have it! The perfect disguise for a child-friendly, kid-dominated home: a comfort object for mommy's comfort object -- what could possibly be more apropos??


Blogger kimmyk said...

When I start blog surfing my favorites to see what's happening..everytime I get to my M's and I come to "Mary P" I always say to myself ....
"ok Mary P...gimme somethin good today to read". Well....wouldn't ya know! You didn't let me down as always.
I just shove my personal things...heh a box on a shelf that I need a step stool to reach. But I'm thinkin I like those lil covers. They're cute...

Let's hope George, Harry, Mia, don't find it and think it's a new stuffed toy or something. HA!

11/19/2005 09:54:00 a.m.  
Blogger ieatcrayonz said...


Your daughter and parents read this blog? Balls of steel, woman. Balls of steel.

11/19/2005 10:22:00 a.m.  
Blogger Candace said...

I may need to purchase a vibrator just so I can say to my friends, "Well, my vibrator cozy..."

11/19/2005 10:42:00 a.m.  
Blogger Stephen (aka Q) said...

I like the one with its little arms extended. It seems to be saying, "Wanna snuggle?" And its perked-up little ears have the right spirit, too.

Eight inches, though … surely it's too much of a good thing.

11/19/2005 11:10:00 a.m.  
Blogger Susan said...

This is so funny--and then I got to Q's comment, and it got even funnier.

You guys rock.

11/19/2005 01:50:00 p.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Kimmyk: That's the obvious problem, isn't it? Some kid finds the thing and then bombs around with a buzzing plush toy...

Crayonz: My children all have the address, though only the oldest reads it - but she's almost twenty and lives on her own. She's an adult, she can handle it. My parents? As in my daycare parents? They do NOT have this URL. NOT, NOT, NOT. My mother does, though, which is 100% okay: My attitude to this topic was both learned and inherited. :-)

Misfit: Ummm... the cozy is probably the least important reason for having one of these things...

Q: Eight inches? Ouch.

Susan: This post was fun to write, and Q does indeed rock. Glad you're having fun with all this, too!

11/19/2005 02:12:00 p.m.  
Blogger Candace said...

Well, yes, but it's just fun to say "vibrator cozy". Because, you know, cozies aren't traditionally *made* for vibrators and it just strikes me as funny...oh, never mind.

Trying to explain how my brain works makes the funny less funny!


11/20/2005 11:09:00 a.m.  
Blogger snaars said...

Confused me, I read "hummer" and thought you were talking about a toy truck or something.

You see, I haven't been able to keep up with all my blog reading lately, so I missed your first posting on this subject. I scrolled down to the pictures and it took me several seconds to understand. What a revelation!

11/20/2005 04:41:00 p.m.  
Blogger McSwain said...

There are times I read blog entries and laugh out loud. And my son says, "Mommy, what are you laughing about?" And when I say, "Never mind," he gets even more persistent. This one was especially difficult.

11/20/2005 09:40:00 p.m.  
Blogger Granny said...

Q. beat me to it. Oh to be young again and have to worry about hiding something like that.

Just when I think there's nothing new on this earth....

11/21/2005 12:25:00 a.m.  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Misfit: It made me laugh out loud in the store, too. A cozy is so proper, homey, domesticated. Conjures up visions of kindly elderly ladies pouring tea for the vicar...

Snaars: Your little photo is particularly apt for this post, then. I'm assuming you've read the original post now, and are all caught up?

Cheryl: Been there. Honesty works really well in these situations, I find. I just tell the child, "Someone has written something really funny about sex", to which the child says, "Oh, GROSS!" and can't get away fast enough, their fingers crammed firmly in their ears.

Granny: Q is a wise man, indeed. One of the many reasons I love him. I also love it that to you I'm young! At forty-something, I feel like a full-fledged adult - which I like - but it's also nice to know that it can still be young! :-)

11/21/2005 07:52:00 a.m.  
Blogger LoryKC said...

LOL! They're TOO cute.
I'm not sure dressing up my toys so they look like the kids' toys would be a good strategy in this house. I said put it on a high shelf, and I'm stickin' to it!

11/23/2005 12:15:00 p.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home