Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Eeewww....

Having a boatload of children in this house, your standard Brita pitcher is wholly inadequate, and so we have one of these babies: In the summer it sits on a shelf in the fridge, but as I don't much care for cold water in the winter, right now it sits on the kitchen counter. This is the side view. That dark blue thing on the left of the picture is the flange of the spigot on the front of it. The nice thing about this model, the thing, besides its large capacity, that makes it better for a large family than their pitchers, is that you can pour water into the reservoir at the top, and be able to get yourself a glass of water at the same time. With the pitchers, you have to wait for it to stop filtering before you can pour. Enough of the informercial. (If you're interested in knowing more, the picture is a link to the Brita people.) So, as I said, this sits on the counter, totally ignored by all the tots. All except Arthur. Mechanically inclined, gizmo-obsessed Arthur. Arthur, who puts inappropriate things in his mouth, who drools pretty much non-stop, who licks his nose. And, when not doing any of these bodily-fluid-y things, Arthur picks his nose. A lot. Till it bleeds, in fact. Arthur washes his hands a lot. He isn't generally allowed in my lap for a snuggle with washing his hands. Arthur also washes his hands before helping to set the table - which he loves to do, being a cheerful and social little dude. Arthur is not allowed to handle anything that might come in contact with anyone else's hands or face, because Arthur's hands have almost certainly been somewhere moist and germ-ridden only moments before. Adam comes out of the kitchen, looking a bit green. "Mom? Hey, Mom, we need to move the Brita. Arthur's been touching it." Okay. We're careful about Arthur's hands, and I'll steer him away from it, but I don't see how touching the outside of the Brita is really a problem. I'll just wipe it down with some disinfectant. "No, mom. He's not touching the outside. He's been sticking his finger right up the spigot!!" Now that's a truly disconcerting image. It's a small, moist opening. Arthur's small, slimy finger probably fits up that spigot just as neatly as it does up his nose... Adam drops to his knees and bends his six-foot body over so he can peer up into the spout. "Awww, man! Do you suppose there's boogers in there? That is so gross, mom." An even worse thought occurs to him: "How long has he been doing that, and we didn't know?" Is there a disinfectant you can swallow?

18 Comments:

Blogger LoryKC said...

Ewww! EWWwwwww!
(Fits with the "new" joke in our house--my dad said it while I was growing up, so I've inflicted it on my kids, but my daughter just (finally) got it yesterday--
You may think it's funny when your nose is runny...but it's snot.

1/11/2006 10:25:00 AM  
Anonymous MIM said...

Oh GOD. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

1/11/2006 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger Haley said...

That is absolutely disgusting. Ew Ew EW Ew EW.

1/11/2006 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Oh no!!! Well, there's nothing you can do about what you might have already consumed. I'd be concerned about how to properly clean the spigot, though. Yuck. What a terrible discovery.

1/11/2006 11:22:00 AM  
Blogger L. said...

My flesh is crawling after just reading that!

1/11/2006 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger jw said...

Oh wow.

When I was in the military medical department, when we brought new water distribution tanks out, the first thing we did was to disinfect them by filling with super chlorinated water (bleach) and running it through the spigots.

1/11/2006 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Lory: I'm with you, it may seem funny, but it's snot... ewwWWwwwwwWWw...

mim: Mm-hmmm. Definitely gag-inducing.

Haley: And, having met Arthur, you know I'm not exaggerating his hygiene issues...

Kristen: It's done already. See below. Not to worry!

L: You know how you come up with "it could be worse" scenarios to make yourself feel better? Well, there are a couple, but you know what? Yes, they're worse, but they don't make me feel better, somehow.

JW: Done. In fact, in the winters when I have the thing on the counter at room temperature, I disinfect the whole thing once a month. Take it apart, immerse both reservoirs in a sink full of bleach-and-water solution, and then refill the reservoir with a slightly stronger solution and let it trickle through the spigot.

This, though, this called for full-strength bleach...

1/11/2006 02:47:00 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Urgh.

1/11/2006 03:45:00 PM  
Blogger Granny said...

coming in a little late - yuck

1/11/2006 05:38:00 PM  
Blogger kimmyk said...

EW!

Just EW!

1/11/2006 08:21:00 PM  
Blogger Andie D. said...

Eek! Glad you got it taken care of!

1/11/2006 09:29:00 PM  
Blogger Angela said...

First of all-- ew! I'm glad you disinfected it today... and secondly, it must be a Canadian thing to leave the water on the counter during the winter- my mom REFUSES to have cold water all winter long!

1/11/2006 09:56:00 PM  
Blogger Mary said...

Came over from your comment on my blog - thanks by the way - and can I just say EEEwwwwwww for the first post I read? ICKY.

Now I have to go read more, I think I'm going to like it here. LOL

1/11/2006 10:35:00 PM  
Blogger The June Cleaver Diaries said...

I thought my illness had improved slightly, so I decided to catch up with you. And now, thank you very much, I'm off to the bathroom to puke again.

1/11/2006 10:56:00 PM  
Blogger jw said...

I can't pass this one up. After reading your great blog post and reading all of the freaked out comments, I've decided to start a place on my computer where I am going to make copies of "The Greatest Blog Posts of All Time". After I get enough of them maybe I will publish them somehow.

1/12/2006 12:37:00 AM  
Blogger Queen Bee said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! Yuks to the visibles and invisibles!!!

1/12/2006 04:19:00 AM  
Blogger Mary P. said...

Misfit, granny, kimmy, andie: That about sums it up, yes. This job is not for the squeamish. I am not squeamish, but I do have my limits, and Arthur is the boy to find them!

Angela: Your mom is Canadian? I don't have cold water in the winter because it's cold enough already not to want to cool my insides. You live where it's hot, no? She must have just been so well trained in her youth she can't shake the habit!

Mary: Welcome! Glad you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it: therapeutic, it was, or perhaps cathartic. Once I figure out out to make a third column for categories, one of the categories is going to be merely, "Eeewwwww"!

June: Oooh, sorry! Can I say I'm glad to see my writing is so effective, though??

JW: I have another possible contender for the honour, then: The Worst Shit Story Ever. It's one of my top three "eeww" stories.

QueenBee: Welcome! In some ways, the invisibles are WORSE, aren't they? Bleah...

1/12/2006 07:59:00 AM  
Blogger chosha said...

Wow, half of me is laughing and the other half is just...*shudder*...imagining the same thing happening in my own kitchen. Ewww.

1/15/2006 12:28:00 AM  

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